Wednesday, January 13, 2010


"So what are you majoring in," I asked her.

"I'm getting my graduate degree in 'blah, blah, blah," she said. As soon as she started talking I realized how boring the conversation was.

Most of our conversations in life, especially when people are just getting to know each other are insanely banal. I remember I was out at this club recently and this girl was hitting on me, she asked me questions like "Where do you live," and "What do you do for work." Now if I was a dude asking some babe those questions she'd think I was a total dud. Boring! Boring! Boring! I can't say that I'm always super on it with coming up with great conversation ideas but I thought this one was alright.

"How many times a month do you think you have this conversation," I asked her.
"At least four or five," she replied.
"Let's talk about something else. How about you describe yourself with three adjectives."
"Uh..." she said. After a minute of idling she went on, "I can't do that."
I sighed out aloud. "Alright well what do you think that guy does for a living," I asked pointing out a disheveled forest kid I knew.
"I bet his in grad school," she said.
"Grad school no fucking way, guess again."
"Well maybe he's a lawyer."
"Eeerrrn wrong. He's just a bum. Alright that thread didn't go so well." I paused for a moment. "What was the last landscape you could recall. It could be from anytime and anywhere."
"Hmmm... that's a good one. I'd have to say it was this picture on my screensaver on my computer at home. The picture is in a valley and its of an uncompleted chinese dam. There are no people in the picture. Its just tons of concrete and steel."
"That's a good one," I said.
"What about you?"
"This morning I went running up Broadway in Oakland towards the hills. As I was coming up the hill the highway, I think it was the 580 cut across the horizon meeting the top of the hill. To my right was temescal park and behind me was a driveway with lion statues outside. The lions were on these big ass pillars and were laying lazily on the columns. The sun was rising casting a light purplish haze on the sky."

Evidently this list is supposed to have some great conversational start ups. I might go out tomorrow night to an acquaintance's birthday party. Which ones should I use?

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